Grieving the loss of a pet

The death of a beloved pet can be devastating and have a profound effect on your well-being. Pets are great company, whether they were part of your family unit or perhaps your sole companion. The void that you feel when they die can be huge. Your home may feel very quiet and it can be difficult to adjust to the loss of routine that caring for your animal brings, such as taking them for walks or feeding them. Pets can provide a sense of purpose; they rely on you for care and they reward you with unconditional love and friendship. It is only natural that their death will be difficult to process.

A unique experience of loss

A unique aspect of pet bereavement is if you have had to make the painful decision to have your pet euthanised. This can bring feelings of guilt or self-blame. You may question if you made the right choice or whether anything else could have been done to prevent your pet dying. The knowledge that it may have been the compassionate option for your pet does not diminish the emotional pain that you are left with when they have died.

Feeling sadness is natural with pet loss

Regardless of the circumstances of your pets death, it is common to feel a wide range of emotions. Just as when a person dies, feeling sadness is a natural response to your loss and may feel overwhelming. There is no right or wrong way to feel when you are bereaved. It can be hard to accept what has happened. You may initially experience shock and disbelief that your pet has gone. You may feel numb or expect your pet to greet you at the door when you return home, even though you know that they have died. Your physical health may be affected; you may find it difficult to sleep, experience loss of appetite or even feel physical pain. It can help to recognise that your feelings are natural and valid. It is important to allow yourself the time and space to think about your loss, remember your pet and acknowledge the hurt that you feel.

Express your feeling of loss and find support

Grieving for a pet may be more difficult if your emotions are not acknowledged by others, especially those who have never had a pet themselves. The assumption by some that the loss of a pet is not as painful as when a person dies can be hurtful and the enormity of the loss you feel may not be recognised. You may feel that you need to hide your emotions or perhaps be embarrassed by your grief reaction. This can be a lonely and isolating experience. You have lost a cherished friend therefore it is necessary to allow yourself to feel your emotional pain without fear of judgment from others. It is important to express your feelings when you are grieving and seek support from people who understand. It may help to talk to supportive friends or family members who have experienced the loss of a pet and can empathise with your experience.

Take time to grieve your pet

There are many ways to reminisce about your pet. It may help to talk openly about your pet, look at photographs and remember their unique personality. You may find some comfort in framing their photograph, keeping one of their beloved toys, scattering their ashes, or perhaps planning a rose in their favourite part of the garden if you have one. Give yourself time to grieve and to remember them, the closeness of your bond and the pleasure that they brought to your life and you to theirs.

If you are grieving for a pet, the Blue Cross offer a free and confidential Pet Bereavement Support Service