Following the death of her Mum, Sofia was struggling to express her feelings, until a chance finding of a KEMP Hospice Services leaflet gave her the outlet she needed to understand and process her grief.
Following the death of her Mum, Sofia was struggling to express her feelings, until a chance finding of a KEMP Hospice Services leaflet gave her the outlet she needed to understand and process her grief.
“I was already familiar with KEMP as my beloved Mum was a patient at the Hospice. Mum’s personality had shrivelled due to huge bereavements that affected us all. I saw her come to light because of using KEMP Hospice Services. She gained a new lease of life, blossoming, making friends and looking forward to attending”. As her Mum’s health declined, Sofia became a carer at home, making decisions around her Mum’s care and looking after her 24-hours a day. This however took a toll on their relationship. “To help me take a step back, Mum’s granddaughter stepped up and became her carer. This gave me chance to re-establish the bond with my Mother as her Daughter, which was important to us both”.
Sofia’s Mum had made the decision, with agreement from family and services, that she wanted to pass away peacefully at home. “When the time came, Mum’s death felt very traumatic. Though I knew it was going to happen, I felt totally numb and bewildered for many weeks. I went into automatic pilot and was lacking awareness of how I was reacting to people and situations” Sofia found that she was experiencing a huge range of emotions, exhaustion, anger, upset and particularly the loss of no longer having her mum there to talk to, laugh and share with. Several of Sofia’s friends suggested she tried talking to someone, but at the time it just didn’t feel right.
After a while, Sofia began to sort through her Mum’s belongings, and it was here she found details for KEMP Family Support & Bereavement Services. “I was going through some of Mom’s things and came across a KEMP leaflet which provided counselling details. I thought about calling for a number of weeks and even phoned the number and put it down!” Eventually, Sofia was able to make the call. “I decided to let it ring and spoke to somebody in the Family Support & Bereavement Services Team. My anxiety was through the roof. I was crying, but I was received by a very patient, sympathetic and kind person. It was explained to me that there was a wait for the service, but this felt okay as I had made a comforting connection which gave me some relief. I’d committed to wanting to speak to somebody”.
Confidence to Express Feelings
Sofia was incredibly nervous making first contact with her Counsellor Katy, however, they established a process and it was at this point Sofia felt able to open up about her experiences. “It was like the floodgates opened. Being heard and not being judged allowed me to express and feel the emotions of losing mum. Talking to my KEMP counsellor gave me the headspace and emotional space to work things out. I felt I had time to breathe and hear how I was feeling. It was an extremely cathartic experience, even if painful at times”.
“The service has given me the opportunity to find peace and accept it is okay to feel hurt, angry, bereft, sorrow, pain, happiness and laughter. Now I can look back and smile at the memories I have of my mum, instead of crying. It also allowed me to understand everyone goes through a similar process, but this can be at different times, and that’s okay too. My counsellor got to know me. The connection was important and hearing my story was important”.
